Secure
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: Aang literally awoke one day and realized: he doesn't love Katara like he used to. So, restless one night, he talks to Toph before leaving to visit an old friend. But little does he know that his friend is who he needs. .:. Zukaang. 3-part oneshot. Smut!
1. Start

**A/N: Haha, more Zukaang. Except this one is going on in Aang's head for a change. ;P**

**Note: Um, this takes place some time after the series' end. So… spoilers for the whole series? I guess? Lulz. :'D**

**Warning: Shounen-ai and yaoi, ohhhh yeahhhhz. I meant for this to be sweet and cute, but it turned into something involving extremely sexual situations. Damn my dirty mind, ne? Unless you like smut like I do, huhuhu. ;3 **

**EDIT: now without typos, since I finally bothered to beta myself! LOLOLOL.  
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I'm lying here, in the room of an inn at Toph's hometown while visiting said earthbender and her boyfriend, Teo – a happy couple bound by two things, the common factors of their disabilities and their love of adventure – and I can't help thinking as I gaze out the window from my bed that I wish that I had someone to love, too. Like they do.

I used to have someone, but… Well, she and I… drifted apart.

I sigh to myself.

I don't know when it started, really. All I can remember is quite literally waking up one day and thinking, 'I don't love Katara like I used to.'

It isn't that my love for her went away, or changed. In actuality, I just woke up after a rather puzzling dream and realized: I don't like Katara romantically, I like her like a dear friend, or even a sibling- or mother-figure. That's why I kissed her so many times: each one had been a test, mainly to myself, to see if I wanted it or not, if it was right or not.

And one day, I finally understood that it isn't right, and that I shouldn't lead her on any longer. But over a year had already passed since the end of the war, so I became unsure as to how to break it to her that I didn't want this.

It took time. Slowly, I became less affectionate towards her, and made each touch friendly instead of loving. I never knew much about loving touches to begin with anyhow, so the change wasn't too drastic. But Katara knows me well enough to catch the changes. And then, eventually, she asked me: "Do you want to split up, Aang?"

I sighed, regretful, but nodded. "Yeah. I hope you don't hate me for it, but I don't know what I was thinking; I was young, but I'm older now, and…" I had drifted off, but she got the idea.

She had smiled, but I could tell that it was slightly forced. "I can't say I didn't see this coming, because then I'd be lying. I wasn't sure how long we would last, Aang, since I was so hesitant at first. And, I think… I think I only gave in because I didn't want to hurt you. But I can't say, either, that I hadn't gotten used to it and learned to like it, because then I'd be lying again." A single tear slid down her cheek, and I sympathized with her pain, and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Katara."

"Don't be," she sighed, and pulled away. "It's not your fault. We're better as friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

She had shrugged, and at the time, I thought that I should have said something better, something more solid to reassure her. "Well, I hope we find somebody else that will make the other happier," she grinned, and as beautiful as the waterbender was, she looked less so when she forced her smiles like that.

"We have plenty of time for that to happen," I said, trying to cheer her. I patted her arm. "Right? I mean, I just turned fifteen, and you're almost seventeen, right? We're still young."

She had nodded, but the conversation didn't last much longer. I could tell that I had truly wounded her heart, and I felt guilty about it. But some time has passed now, and it is as though 'we' had never happened. Katara is back to her old self, and flirts here and there with some guys, and even tried going out with one for a while. So I know that she will be fine.

But I'm not sure who I want, or where I should go, seeing as how not many people need the Avatar's help after the world rebuilt itself. I mean, there are always options for me, I suppose; if I only looked. What ever happened to Meng, or the other girls we've met along the way? I could look for them. I could try to get so know some or at least one of them.

And yet… I don't want any of those girls. But I do know that I miss having somebody close to me like that, someone to bring into my arms, chest to chest, or chest to back; someone to plant a kiss on, someone who keeps me connected to this Earth. I'm afraid that if I don't find somebody soon, I'll drift away like some of the other airbending monks before me.

Honestly, I don't want that to happen. I don't want to simply float away, my heart disconnected from the world. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be safe. But how can I obtain the safety I so desire? I crave that security, that worldly possession of a person. It had felt nice, when I had had it in my grasp. And I want it back.

Frustrated, I get out of bed and pace over to the window, and underneath the stars there is a stable. I can spot Appa's horned head from here, and behind me, Momo senses my movement and makes a noise as he stirs from sleep to blink his wide, green eyes at me. I bring a finger to my lips and shush him. Smiling oddly, I say to the lemur, "Let's go tell Toph and Teo goodbye, Momo. I have someone else that I want to visit."

It is the way of the Air Nomad, isn't it? To move around, as unpredictable as the wind, and just as far-reaching in ones travels. I might be the last one, but damn it if I'm not going to continue some of the Air people's nomadic ways. And I say 'some' because I just swore. Even if mentally, swearing isn't very proper for a monk. But hey, the world has changed.

_I've_ changed.

So I pack up my things and head over to Toph's house, her parents long-since forgiving and apologetic and understanding thanks to the letter Toph sent them before the eclipse, and since her fame after the war's end. She is still awake, like I predicted, and I tell her goodbye.

"Where are you going this time, Twinkle Toes?" she wants to know. She grins and punches me lightly in the arm, her forms of affection hardly altered, even if she has a boyfriend.

"I'm not sure," I shrug. "I'm just restless. I might go see Sokka and Suki on Kyoshi Island, but I'm thinking I might go see Zuko instead. It's been an extremely long time since I've seen him."

Toph crosses her arms; her way of pouting. "Got that right. Poor Sparky is so busy as the Fire Lord that he hardly has time for us anymore, which is totally boring." And that, I know, is her way of saying that she misses Zuko as well. She sighs, her tone dropping a hair lower. "I mean, he and I started off kind of rough, but now we're like siblings. He's the only big brother I've ever known."

I smile, always happy to see Toph's softer side. She acts like a tomboy through and through, but she is still a girl. I give her a quick one-armed hug around her shoulders. "I'll definitely go see him, then. And I'll tell him how much you –"

"Don't you dare!" she laughs, and she turns our little embrace into a headlock, but it's half-hearted. She releases me, brushes her bangs out of her face, and says, "Just kidding. Two years ago I wouldn't have let you tell him, but I don't care anymore. Sparky can know that I miss him. He should know that all of us miss him, Mister Head-Honcho Hothead."

I laugh at that one; it's a new nickname, and it suits the old Zuko that we remember. It makes me wonder if he is still that way. "Anyway, tell Teo goodbye for me. I'm going to leave tonight, because like I said, I'm getting restless."

Toph smiles as she leans back on her palms. "You're an odd one, Aang. What's the matter? Do you miss the fighting so much that you can't sit still for too long?"

"Look who's talking!" I tease, because we both know that The Blind Bandit is in no way a retired Earth Rumble fighter.

"Okay, okay, you got me there. Still, it surprises me that you can't seem to relax."

Her remark doesn't faze me. I shrug again. "I'm a nomad, what do you expect? Besides, after Katara and I broke up, traveling is all I feel like doing."

My earthbending teacher temporarily gets a sad expression on her face. "It must be lonely."

I'm glad that she can't see the wince my face involuntarily makes. "Not really. I have Appa and Momo."

But I know that she didn't mean company-wise, she meant romantically. Which is true; I am lonely in love, since I have nobody at the moment. But I don't mind it so much, because I have a feeling that things will change soon enough.

"Anyway," I say as I stand up and move to the window where Appa is waiting outside of, "I'll see you again soon, Toph. Be well."

She grins and sends a wave, knowing by the sound of my voice that I am not within reach to touch. "Goodbye. And don't be too long!"

"I won't!" I say as I dash out the window and run across her yard to my pet bison. I hop on his head, Momo peering down at me from the saddle, empty except for a few of my possessions and the lemur himself.

And then I'm off, headed in the direction of the Fire Nation.


	2. Midpoint

I yawn and stretch as I awake to the sound of Appa groaning, as if to warn me of something. I open my eyes and find the sight of the mainlands of the Fire Nation in the distance, particularly the very island we had tried to invade so long ago, and within it, the very palace where my friend resides. I automatically grin, because there is something about giving someone a surprise visit that makes me giddy inside. Almost like playing a joke on them, jumping out of nowhere and yelling, "Surprised to see me?" as you give them a welcoming hug.

Haha, that sure sounds like a fun idea. But I have a feeling that it will be practically impossible to sneak up on Zuko.

Still, I soar towards the setting sun – the Fire Nation resides in the west, after all – and wave to the villagers who recognize my bison and point or wave up at me. I don't hesitate to land my bison near the royal stables, a few of the stable boys jumping in shock and stuttering something along the lines of: "Th-the Avatar! I must alert the Fire Lord immediately!"

I laugh. "Don't worry," I tell one scrambling stable boy in specific, "I'll alert him myself. Just take care of my sky bison, okay? He's really hungry and thirsty after a long trip from the Earth Kingdom."

"O-of course, Avatar, sir!" the young boy nods. He must be no more than eight years old, perhaps nine. That age feels like ages ago for me, and ironically, it kind of is, since I was frozen for so long. It still amazes me, how old I technically am. But it doesn't feel like it.

I pad down a carpet towards the palace, knowing that I will be welcome, if only because of the clothes and tattoos that I wear. Guards stiffen into attention as I pass them, out of respect and similar to the stable boys, shock. I chuckle to myself, briefly thinking about how improper it is to come unannounced to anybody's home, but at the moment, I don't care. It is simply too amusing.

My arrival is announced before I enter the Fire Lord's main chamber, but Zuko isn't here. I find Li and Lo, a pair of ancient twins, and ask them where Zuko might be. One of them – I'm not sure which, Li or Lo – answers me first. "His Majesty might be in his study, or his personal bedchamber."

The opposite twin sighs. "He hasn't been himself lately, it seems."

I frown in concern. "How so?"

"He's been a bit depressed," one of the old women answers.

Her sister adds, "The poor boy recently ended his engagement with Lady Mai."

Together, they explain in unison: "And even though his mother was recently located, even she can't seem to comfort him enough. He won't tell her what's wrong." They both shakes their heads in the same direction (twin telepathy is kinda creepy). "Fire Lord or not, he is still young. We are not sure if he can handle the stress."

I, too, shake my head, but briskly. "No, I doubt that's it; Zuko has handled worse. It must be something else…" I murmur, thoughts starting to tug at my mind. "Thank you for the information," I bow graciously, "I think I will see if I can get him to speak his mind."

"We sure hope so," the twins sigh. I can tell that they want to say more, but they are already giving me a curt bow and beginning to walk away. I take it this as my chance to scour the palace for Zuko, occasionally asking a guard or a servant where I am or where the Fire Lord's chambers are.

One shy girl points me down a corridor, saying, "The last door is Fire Lord Zuko's chambers. But I would maybe wait until tomorrow to bother him; he isn't…" she glances away, "Well, he has had a bad day, it seems. He won't even let me or any other maid come in to change his bedding or refresh his bathroom supplies."

I frown further. Something is really bothering Zuko, and that alone worries me. I thank her for the information as I have been doing, and tell her that I will take my chances. I speed-walk down the corridor to his bedroom. With a shaky breath, I knock a few times.

"What now?" my friend's voice roars from the other side. "I told all of you to _fuck off_!"

I bite my lip. He really does sound peeved. But I don't want to wait until tomorrow, not when I know something is wrong. It seems to be a natural instinct of mine to mend the problems of people, my friends being at the top of the list.

I find my voice and say, "Is that any way to talk to the Avatar?" As a second thought, I add a bit quieter, "...Or your _friend_?"

Immediately I hear something thud in the room, and then the door flies open. "Aang?" Zuko frowns in surprise and confusion, looking at me as though I were a mirage in the desert. "How…" He pauses and changes his question. "Why are you here?"

I smile my goofy, nervous smile and rub the back of my neck slightly. He looks different; it has only been about two years, making Zuko… what, eighteen or nineteen? Still, he has changed a bit. For one, I'm taller, which makes him appear shorter to me. "Can't I randomly decide to visit an old sifu and friend of mine?"

He smiles minutely, opening the door a bit wider to allow me inside. "Well, it isn't customary for anybody to show up at the Fire Lord's doors without at least a month's warning in advance, but being who you are, I guess I can shove the rules of formality aside."

He seems… warmer than I remember. Have the years softened his outer shell, or is he only acting like this because we're friends? I'd like to think it is the latter, because I like being missed; it means that I'm not the only person who cares, since part of the time, I feel like I am.

"Funny, you sound like Sozin," I say without thinking. I meant that he reminds me of one of the memories Roku showed me a few years back, about his friendship with Fire Lord Sozin. In that specific memory, Sozin had told Roku something akin to, 'Normally my subjects bow before their Fire Lord… But you're the exception.'

Zuko makes a face, and I realize that I shouldn't have brought up his great-grandfather, since the man _had _been the one to start the war.

I immediately amend my mistake. "Er, I only mean that what you said reminded me of something he said in a memory Roku showed me! Don't worry, it's a good thing," I add quickly. "Sozin had good in him at one time, you know. Not everybody only remembers him for the bad he's done."

"It sure seems like that's all people remember. And I can only hope that I don't end up the same way: remembered for my mistakes instead of what I did correctly." Zuko blows hair out his mouth as he runs his fingers through his hair, which is out of its usual royal bun, messy like how I remember it when he first joined our group. The memory itself is brief, but the emotions of how conflicted I had felt come rushing back with much more intensity than the imagery. I feel suddenly guilty for rejecting him outright like I had, since I hadn't even wanted to; but the look Sokka and Katara gave me, despite what my gut insisted, made me decide to tell him 'no'. But that's all behind us now.

I soften my expression. "No, Zuko; that won't happen to you. You're so much different than he was, or any recent Fire Lord for that matter. As far as I can tell, you're doing wonderfully!" I want to cheer him up. I don't like seeing Zuko so gloomy, because I know his potential, as far as moods can go.

"It sure doesn't feel like it," he grumbles, and sits down on the side of his bed. He shakes his head before looking up at me and forcing a friendly smile. "But it's good to see you again, Aang. I'm sorry if I just jump straight into my problems, but I've had a lot on my mind lately."

I secretly wonder what has been on his mind to make him act like this, like how Li and Lo said he's acting, but I hold my tongue. Shaking it off, I move to sit across from him on a little chair in the corner. "So I heard that you found your mother," I say happily. "Li and Lo told me when I asked them where you were hiding. That's great news, Zuko; you finally get to have your mother around again! That's more than I've ever had."

He looks at me strangely, his eyes like molten gold and his lips lax as his browns come together. "It's been nice, but it's also been difficult, because she often visits Azula in prison. I think she believes that she can change my sister, but I'm not sure that it's possible." He runs his fingers through his hair again, and a breezy thought about what it must feel like passes through my mind. "She visits my father often, too. I think she still loves him, but I don't see why. He banished her, for Angi's sake!"

I nod, not voicing an opinion. Personally, I can't quite identify, but for Zuko's sake, I'll appear to agree. He just needs someone to listen to him right now, since he's been bottling up everything from everyone else. Vaguely, I wonder what makes me so special. It could be my honest face; Katara always liked to say that I have a nice, open face, that allows you to trust me easily and spill your heart out to me. I didn't know what to say to that, but I constantly find that what she said is true.

Zuko glances up at me again. "How has everybody else been?"

"Pretty well-off," I say. "Sokka and Suki got eloped. It surprised us all, and Sokka sent Hawkie to give you the message, but I think he gave the poor bird bad directions, since I an tell by your face right now that you never received it," I chuckle. Zuko shrugs, and I tell him about the others. "Toph misses you; you're like an older brother to her, she says. She's with Teo now; you remember him, right? The boy in the glider-wheelchair? Anyway, I saw them last. They're happy."

"What about Katara?" he asks. I can tell that he's trying to distract himself from his own worries.

"Um," I mumble, my fingers twisting together and apart again, over and over, "I'm not entirely sure. She seems fine, but I think she took our break-up a little hard. It's my fault, really."

Zuko blinks a couple times. "You two… broke up? Why? I thought you two seemed so happy together."

I sigh. "Yeah, well. Relationships change, feelings being realized and all that jazz. And what I realized is that I didn't love her like I thought I did. I wanted something else, but I still don't know what. I guess I'm still looking." I laugh a bit weakly. "Which reminds me: I kind of heard the gossip from Li and Lo about you and Mai. What happened?"

Zuko looks away, and for a moment, I think I see a tinge of pink on his cheeks, but I can't be positive. "Same story, I guess. I fell out of love. She wasn't right for me, and I figured it out a little late, and it hurt her feelings, so now she won't talk to me. But I think it's better to be miserable this way than the other way."

I understand completely what he means. "Yeah, that's what I thought too. It's not fair to the other person, either, if you think about it: them loving you but you not loving them back? That's not fair at all."

There is a small moment of silence between us, but not an uncomfortable one. I take this opportunity to come sit beside him. Zuko tenses, and he seems to lean away slightly. I wonder why? But before I can say anything, the Fire Lord offers me dinner and the guest bedroom at the end of the hall.

I grin broadly. "Such generous hospitality, Zuko," I tease. "Thank you, I think I'll take you up on that. I'm starved, and haven't slept on a real bed in days."

"Then let's go," he says a bit flatly, and stands up to leave. But he seems to be in a much better mood than when I first knocked on his door, so I gladly tag along behind him.

He pauses in the doorway for some reason, however, and I find myself bumping into his back. Somehow, this sparks a teeny memory of when we went to meet Ran and Chah, the dragons. I had been right here, behind him, when I had tried to steal a bit of his fire. I almost forgot how warm Zuko is, and I'm amused at how many more inches I've gained against him. But he still towers a good three inches above me.

"Sorry," I murmur, but it happens to be at the same time he says the same exact thing. We exchange looks, a bit embarrassed, until I gesture for him to lead the way. I clearly don't know my way around the Palace, even if my most recent past life did.

We don't say anything as we head to dinner, and I only make small-talk around the table, mainly with Zuko's mother, Lady Ursa, who is just as kind and lovely as Zuko told me she is. But after dinner, she pulls me aside before dessert to ask me something.

"It's nice that you came all this way to see him; I think he needed a friend. He wouldn't talk much to anybody else unless it was business, and it worried me. But I think having you here might be good for him." She sighs, her breath as calm and melodic as her voice. "Still, I can't help but wonder if he's said anything to you since you've arrived. Has he?"

I give her a little smile. "Yes, he's said a thing or two. Nothing very specific, though."

"Could you do me a favor, Avatar Aang?"

I chuckle shortly. "You can just call me Aang, Lady Ursa. I don't find it disrespectful, especially not coming from the mother of one of my best friends."

It's an odd thing to say, that Zuko is a best friend of mine, seeing as how we were far from it to begin with. But I never held anything against him; I offered a hand to him countless times, like after he rescued me from Zhao as the Blue Spirit, or even after he kidnapped me at the North Pole. And, deep down, when we were at Ba Sing Se, I knew that he was just confused. Plus, with how manipulative Azula used to be before she snapped, I knew it couldn't have been is fault that he chose his sister's side. Still, he's done so much wrong and yet so much right that I can't help but be his friend.

Ursa smiles at me, soothing in its warm, like candlelight. "I know he is, which is why I want to ask a favor of you. Could you please tell me about anything he opens up to you with? I'm his mother, but he refuses to tell me certain things, and it perplexes me, and hurts me, but I know that sometimes there are things one can only tell one's friends, and not one's parent. But I still need to know, because he is my son and I do care deeply for him and want to find a way to help him. So would you mind, Aang?"

I shake my head. "Of course I wouldn't mind. I know how much of a clam Zuko can be, so I'll gladly tell you anything he tells me. I'm sure you can keep secrets well." I wink.

She laughs like a wind chime made of copper and silver. "Yes, I can keep secrets. I won't tell him that you told me, or give hints that I know. Like I said, I just want to be able to help, that's all. But I can't help –"

"Unless you know the problem," I finish for her. "I know how _that _feels."

"I figured you might," she says, smiling again. "Anyhow, thank you, Av– I mean, Aang. This means a lot to me." She leans forward a bit to hug me, and I find that we're about the same height, although she is still taller by an inch.

"You're welcome, m'lady," I say softly as I return the short embrace. She's soft and cozy, like how a mother should be. No wonder Zuko missed her so much when she was away; if I had a parent like this, I wouldn't want to have them up and leave one night, either.

Ursa retreats to her place at the table just as desert starts to be served. I eye Zuko, knowing without having to read too far into his facial expression that he saw the exchange between his mother and I. He might pry for an explanation, but with Zuko, I can never tell what he'll do.

Being here a the palace for a few days now has really helped me relax a bit and lose some of the restless tension I had before coming here. I don't know why; it could be how the servants wait on me, it could be how often I'm allowed peace all to myself for meditation and the like, or it could be Zuko. I'm not sure. I don't even know why it would be Zuko, but I guess I just missed him a lot or something.

"Aang," an all-too-familiar voice says. I smile and turn away from my view of the capital city around the palace to look my visitor in the eye. "The sun is almost down, but I thought we might spar in the Agni Kai courtyard for a while. I could use the exercise."

I know perfectly well what he means; sparring has always been one of the best ways to release pent-up chi and open up one's mind. Stress relief, plain and simple. And being the Fire Lord after a hundred-year-long war, even if it has been a few years, I can only imagine the amount of stress Zuko has clouding his mind.

"Sure, sounds like fun!" I reply, chipper as ever. He seems content with my answer, and I let him lead the way to the grounds we will be mock battling in.

When we arrive, the sun is just above the horizon, full and yellow-orange. Since this isn't a real Agni Kai, we don't bother with the formalities. We simply shed our shirts and shoes and get down into fighting stances. "Let's see how much you've improved since our last lesson all those years ago," Zuko smirks, and I smirk back.

"Oh, you should be afraid, Sifu Hotman. I have much improved, you'll see," I say, and I might be exaggerating a tad, but perhaps not. I don't know if Zuko's fighting style remained the same or not, so we both might be in for a surprise from the other.

Zuko laughs. "Don't even start with that nickname, Avatar," he jokes mildly, but his voice still sounds stern like it usually does. But something feels – or maybe looks – different about him. But I just can't place in what way, or how so.

"And don't you start calling me something so impersonal," I joke right back. He hasn't called me just 'Avatar' in a long, long while. I laugh, and then he calls out to see if I'm ready. I nod. "Ready!"

And then it begins.

He shoots first, something I'm more than used to. I dodge the stream of fire and leap into the air, trying not to use any airbending, since I know that would only give me a sparring advantage, which is unfair to a friendly opponent. I punch down towards Zuko with a strong fire blast, one he breaks with his own bending. "Very good," he approves, as if he were my teacher once again. "But try this on for size," he remarks curtly as I land in front of him. He does one of his signature moves, a spinning cycle of kicks on the ground, almost like a dance of his legs as his forearms keep him rooted to the ground.

It feels like I'm skipping rope as a child as I jump into the air multiple times to evade the flames. I do a cartwheel and land on my feet in time to shoot a fireball in his general direction. Like a waterbender might, he circles his body to bring the fireball around him and directs it back towards me. I break it up into teeny sparks, and attempt another attack, this time one as a charge from the side. Zuko barely dodges me in time, fire daggers forming in his fists to cut my attack in two.

I'm starting to pant, if only because the heat seems to be rising around me. I realize this is because Zuko is creating a torrent of red-orange-yellow flames, like a tornado of fire. I don't want to use airbending, because it would be cheating, and the same goes for earthbending, but I might have to in order to protect myself.

I inch closer to Zuko to avoid the flames, my guard still up for short-range attacks. But Zuko isn't attacking. The tornado of flames swirls up into the sky, beginning to ebb away from around me. I slow my movements to watch it, enchanted by the beauty of such firebending. I can feel a drop of sweat slip down my jaw as I bring my head back down, looking at Zuko instead of the fire, which is gone now.

"Like that one?" he asks me. "I learned it recently from my Uncle. It's meant to corner the enemy, bringing them close enough to you to attack them." He obviously wasn't going to use it to its full potential, since I am no enemy now, nor have I been for years. "Want me to teach it to you?"

I nod eagerly. "Yeah. It's silly to say, but it's very beautiful, even if it's meant to deceive."

"I thought you might say something like that," Zuko replies, and he's smiling in that small way for the hundredth time since I've gotten here. And everybody said he was in a depression; humph. He just needed a friend nearby, that's all. There's nothing for me to tell Ursa except for that, it seems. "Here, follow my movements. It's pretty easy, once you get the hang of it."

"How many steps are there?" I ask out of curiosity. I fall into the first one that he s showing at the moment, a stance nearly as broad as an earthbending stance.

"About twenty. It sounds like a lot, but they move quickly. Each step is very broken-down, in order to make the tornado just right: controlled and wide enough to enclose the enemy before reeling them in."

"I get it," I say. "So let's begin!"

He shows me each step, some of them merely being a swoop of the wrist or the turning of a foot, or a slow or fast push or pull of an arm. Pretty soon, I have a somewhat well-generated tornado going, the burning feeling of firebending coursing through my veins as I try to control the diameter of the tornado. In some ways, it's more like a hurricane, because it doesn't get much slimmer at the bottom than it is at the top.

"That's it, Aang," Zuko says to encourage me, "Just hold it in place, and then bring it steadily closer to you. Kind of like making a clay pot on a potting wheel; have you ever done that?" He steps closer, guiding my shaky hands, holding them in place. I can feel him behind me, his breath sharp near my ear and his legs most likely a couple inches form mine.

I nod as my tongue snakes out from between my lip while I force myself to concentrate. My hands start to shake worse as I struggle to make the fire bend to my will, keeping it rounded and still shrinking the diameter. "I… used to make pots… with Monk Gyatso," I say, panting a little and speaking slowly so not to distract myself further than how acutely aware I am of Zuko's presence. "Pots… and fruit pies."

Zuko laughs. Not much, but enough to distract me, because it's not a sound that I'm used to hearing. "I used to make them with my mom when I was young. She liked hanging around the artisans too much, and wanted to teach some of their secrets to me. But I always ended up with plates instead of bowls and pots and vases, since mine kept getting messed up. It was more fun for me to light the kiln or fry the plate myself."

That sounds more like the Zuko I knew. Something really is different about him, because he seems so much… happier. Maybe it's his mother's and uncle's influence on him. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind says, '_Or maybe it's your company that makes him happy.'_ I shake the thought away, but the second it had been there, it made added heat rise to my face, and the next thing I know, my fire tornado is breaking apart and swirling off into the sky like Zuko's had, only much wilder.

I sigh. "Well, that was an utter failure." I say this mostly to give myself time to wipe the slight blush from my face before turning around to look at Zuko. The sun is below the horizon now, the sky a soft blue turning purple-black on the other side of the skyscape.

"We can practice more tomorrow; you'll get the hang of it soon enough. You're a fast learner, Avatar or not," my friend reassures. And as he turns to get his discarded Fire Lord robes from the stony outdoor flooring, something clicks into place in my mind. Something reminding me of that puzzling dream I had once, something relating to what seemed different about Zuko, aside form his more smiley nature.

As Zuko slips on one layer of clothing, I glance away to retrieve my own shirt, because I realize that the 'something' ringing in my head is that Zuko has a really, really nice body. And it's a dirty thought, involving drops of glistening sweat over smooth muscles and toned, barely tan skin. I shiver as I slip my shirt back on, because I shouldn't be having those sots of thoughts, nor should I have dreamt of something similar whatever number of months ago it was when I understood my true feelings for Katara.

Why is this going through my mind, anyway? It's not right, not right at all. Not clean, not monk-worthy pure, and certainly not normal. My pace behind Zuko is slow, and unfortunately for me, he notices.

In the torchlight – there are at least a dozen lighting up the path back to the palace – Zuko stops walking and turns, one arm full of the remainder of his clothes, to stare quizzically at me. "Tired, Aang?" he questions, thinking that my languid steps are because of exhaustion from sparring and training.

I shake my head. "No, just… uh… thinking, that's all." I mentally snort at myself. _Yeah, sure. Thinking bizarre thoughts that I wish would go away._ But they won't go away, not with how my mind is suddenly telling every fiber of my being that the training should have been longer, because I liked having Zuko within close proximity to me, because with him standing behind me and holding me a little like that, I had felt secure.

Wait, secure? Since when have I wanted a feeling of being safe? – Oh, now I remember. When I was visiting Toph and Teo, I had thought to myself how much I craved the security of another person. But I had meant it in a romantic sense! But I couldn't mean that now...

Could I?

My thoughts are cut off by Zuko's voice, which I notice is closer to me. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't seen him step closer! "What are you thinking about?" he wants to know, genuinely puzzled.

This feels a little cliché. People always ask other people – intimately, I might add – what they're thinking before… er, something happens. And I don't want something like that right now. Thus, I'm quickly shaking my hands in front of my face to wave it aside, and am forcing a funny, toothy smile onto my mouth. "Haha, nothing much, just about how… hungry I am! Yeah. See, I haven't eaten yet, not since breakfast, so my hunger is slowing me down. That's all."

Boy, do I suck at lying. I can't tell if Zuko believes me, but even if he doesn't, at least he's polite enough not to pester be about it. "Then let's go in and eat. Supper should be served soon." He turns and starts walking fast. What's the rush? Was it something I said?

Somehow, I don't like his tone, either. My friend sounds back to his old self, as if I had disappointed him. I feel guilty all of a sudden. "Um, on second thought…" I mumble as I begin walking faster to catch up to him. I touch his arm, and he freezes. "I'm not that hungry anymore. I really am tired. I think I'll go to bed."

"Fine," he says curtly, and for some reason, I think I hurt Zuko without meaning to.

I pace the guest room for a little while, Momo watching me from his place on the bed. "Do you think he was hurt because he knows I lied to him about what I was thinking? But… why would he be, Momo? Unless… it's something else?"

The lemur can't really answer me, I'm well aware. I've been through this before: pretending that he's listening comforts me, and helps me sort things out for myself.

I sigh and plop down on a pile of lounge cushions in the corner of the rich crimson-themed room. "I don't know, Momo, I really don't. I'm fifteen years old and I still don't know what goes on in my own brain, or what, precisely, my heart is feeling half of the time."

"Mmrrf~?" Momo questions, or at least it sounds like a question.

I try my best to elaborate, but it is highly frustrating. I scratch my scalp, for a minute missing having more than peach-fuzz after a week of not shaving my head. "It's weird, Momo: ever since I got here, I keep thinking about Zuko. Worrying about him, wanting to spend time with him around his duties, and… and thinking things about him I probably shouldn't be." I frown to myself. This is different than how I used to think about Katara; with my innocent mind back then, I didn't think about the low-cut neckline of her waterbender clothes, or about doing more than kiss her lips and flushed cheeks.

But lately (and if I count that rather puzzling dream I had that I didn't even remember the details of until recently), what's going through my mind now about Zuko is a lot different, and a lot less innocent. And it is scaring me, because for some reason, I keep allowing the thoughts to invade my mind and linger there, stirring all sorts of mixed emotions.

I close my eyes. I hear Momo jump down from the bed and scurry over to my side, curling up beside my ribcage, his small body warm and fuzzy. I mindlessly pet his big ears back. "I have to figure this out, Momo, before I do something incredibly foolish."

He seems to purr in agreement, easily falling into a lull, nearly asleep.

I jerk up slightly when I hear something outside of my door, a barely-there gust of wind leaking from the crack. Frowning to myself, I sit up completely, leaving Momo on the large pillows as I pad over to the door and push it open to peer down the hallway. I catch movement at the end of it, a figure turning into a bedroom.

The bedroom at he end of the hall, where the Fire Lord resides.

I feel my insides scrunch up tightly and shudder, like a fist squeezing a bag full of caterpillars. Had Zuko been listening to my musings? But why? And… how come I hadn't sensed that he was there?

More importantly, what could he have deduced by what he heard?

I bite my lip, my limbs feelings cold as I unconsciously draw the water from the washing basin on the other side of the room. The water splashes me in the face, a sort of wake-me-up. I shake the water loose from my skin and wipe some of it on my sleeve. I have to get a grip on myself; it feels like I'm losing it.


	3. Finish

The following day, I avoid Zuko for a while in order to gather my thoughts. But he seems to be avoiding me, too.

Unfortunately, as large as the palace is, there are only so many corridors that are familiar to me, ones that I keep walking down over and over again to keep from getting lost. So, eventually, Zuko and I spot one another.

We end up meeting in the royal bathhouse, a large, steaming room with pools – big and small – full of heated water. It is meant less to bathe oneself and more to relax and calm oneself. The monks had one of these, too; only we called them 'hot springs,' since they were naturally formed in the high mountains of the Southern Air Temple, where white, red-faced monkeys would lay in them to keep warm in the winter.

"…Hi, Zuko," I say a hair awkwardly as I settle into the water beside him in the main pool. Nobody else is here, probably to give the Fire Lord privacy. For once, I wish I weren't someone 'important,' because then I wouldn't be allowed into such places without question or restraint.

Technically, you're supposed to be naked in these pools, but I kept a towel around me. And now I'm glad that I had, because I didn't know it was Zuko until I stepped into the water, in which case, it had been too late to turn around in order to avoid him.

"Hi, Aang," he replies, and his face is pink, but it must be the heat. "How're you today? Did you try practicing that fire tornado?"

I shake my head. "No, not yet. But I guess I'm doing okay. What about you?"

He glances down into the water, his hands dropping below the surface to adjust his seating, and I realize that unlike me, he must not be wearing a towel because he thought he wouldn't be having any company. I flush, and I know it's not because of the heat. Damn it! Why am I getting so embarrassed? It's not like he has something I don't already have on m own body. No big deal, right?

I frown at my thoughts. _You're wrong, Dummy: every boy is different, and you know that._ I shiver again, an odd feeling washing over my frame, like a ripple of subtle electricity ghosting just below the surface of my skin.

Zuko answers my question after a pause. "I'm doing well, I guess. I didn't have much work to do today, so… here I am. And… here you are."

There is something hidden in his tone, but the cloak is done so well that I can't tell what. So I opt to agree, a means of prying for another hint as to what he's hiding. "Yeah, here I am. Is that alright with you? That I'm here? I could leave, if you like."

"No," he says, a bit too quickly. He corrects himself. "I mean… you don't have to go if you don't want to, Aang. I don't mean to push you away." His voice lowers to a softer tone. "I always end up pushing people away."

I tilt my head, waiting for him to continue. I know if I just give him time, he'll open up to me like Ursa wanted. Because now I know that there is something bothering him deep down, and for the past few days he's been concealing it with a clever smile and laugh that almost fooled me completely. But I knew that a smiling, laughing Zuko wasn't the real Zuko, even if he has changed a great deal throughout the years.

He shifts his position to lower himself to the floor of the pool, his chin barely above the water when before he had had nearly his entire torso above it. His eyelids lower, although I can hardly tell from this angle; I can only see the profile of his left side, the scarred half of his face, which distorts his expressions at times. But I can see his droplet-tipped eyelashes from the other side of the bridge of his nose, and I can see them lower a notch. I'm mesmerized, watching for every little movement he makes, and it makes me a little sicker inside for being so entranced by the strange beauty of my friend.

Oh no, I thought the B-word. Beauty. That's not a good sign, since this time, I'm using it to refer to another male. Another shiver rattles my bones, but not violent enough to make Zuko to peer sideways at me.

Finally, Zuko speaks, saving me from thinking anything further about him. "I don't mean to push people away, but it has become a habit for me. I pushed away my uncle for years. I pushed away you when you subtly asked if we could be friends. I pushed Katara away when she offered to heal my scar, to let me join your group. I pushed away Toph when she came to see me the night I was rejected by your group later on. I even pushed away my own mother, after years of waiting to have her back, and all because I've been lost in my own mental slump over one teeny-tiny detail in my life that has refused to go away since after I joined your side."

My face bunches in puzzlement. "I'm not following you with that last part," I say at length, hoping that Zuko will explain himself.

Instead, he changes the subject. "I apologize, Aang; I was eavesdropping on you last night. But it's been bugging me since then, and I need to know: how do you feel about me? In all honesty."

I'm not sure I want to admit to myself where this might be going. I'm smart, but not this smart. I can be very dense at times, and at the moment, I've never felt denser. But I know that I have to answer Zuko soon, because he's slowly lifting his head from the water, sitting back up on the bench below the surface. He's staring at me, his face blank but his golden eyes expectant. They look copper in the lighting.

I swallow hard, the caterpillars back in my stomach. I clear my throat. "Um, well… I've never disliked you, if that's what you mean. Even when you fought me, chased me, threatened my friends; I never once hated you. I knew that you had a reason, no matter how contorted, and Sokka told me once – after I saved you from the oncoming blizzard at the North Pole – that I'm too caring for my own good. He said that my heart is too soft. He still thinks so, I'm sure; after all, I couldn't kill your father, could I? And Sokka thought that it made me weak."

I sigh and run my hand over my bald head, my eyes scanning the empty water and not looking at his face. His handsomely flawed face. I blush again.

I go on to say, "I dunno. I guess I always had the idea that we were never meant to be enemies. And then Roku showed me how he – the Avatar – was best friends with the Fire Lord, and I thought to myself: well that's weird, because Zuko is the Fire Prince, and later on, you became my friend. Without question, I became the first to trust you, really trust you, more so than Toph. I liked you; underneath your tough exterior, you were a kid, just like us. I saw that, and for some reason, it made me happy. But years pass, right? And feelings change. And… sometimes for the better, or… or maybe for the worse. I'm not sure. I'm really not sure anymore."

He absorbs this, and only now do I look over to see his facial expression. He looks… glad. Warmly glad, but also a little confused. "So… what are you saying, Aang? – And I want the truth, remember."

My breathing trembles when I exhale. I think he knows what I'm saying, but he wants to hear me say it aloud to be positive. But I don't think I can say it. I've never been good with expressing my feelings into words, directly. I always beat it around the bush, and when I try to confess, it's either a daydream that never happened or something whispered when the person is asleep, or not even around at all to hear it.

Zuko seems to scoot a little closer, although he appears unsure of himself. "Want to know how I feel towards you?"

His voice, as raspy as it is, sounds husky and calm in this moment. I feel my heart skip a beat. "S-sure," I stutter. Part of me really wants him to say what I can't seem to. And the other part of me wishes that he would stop, stop this right now, because things are spiraling out of control, like a flame catching on a twig in the forest, scorching every tree in sight after a while.

"I used to hate you. I tried to hate you on purpose, to ignore the fact that the old man I thought was the Avatar was in fact a child, a twelve-year-old, prepubescent _boy._ But I couldn't hate you, not really. You were an obsession to me, you still are. Whether I like it or not, you plague my thoughts. At first, because I thought you were the answer to my problems. And, maybe, I wasn't so far off base back then, even though you don't solve the same problem."

Zuko leans in slightly, watching me. I'm frozen stiff. The water around my skin begins to mimic my feelings, freezing on contact. But as he comes a bit closer, Zuko warms the water right back up again. I hold my breath, and he speaks again.

"But after some time, some incalculable amount of time, and after those two days we spent alone together on the Sun Warrior's island, I had an epiphany that altered quite a few things for me. I never showed it, of course, because I thought it would ruin everything if I did, but I think it's safe to chance it now. Do you think so?" Zuko wonders, and I myself am wondering if he can possibly be going there. If he can possibly be asking me, or if it is rhetorical. I pray that it's rhetorical. But no, he's waiting. Waiting for me to say something.

I lick my dry lips, my body releasing a bit of tension now that my throat isn't as dry. "Yeah… y-yeah, I think you can chance it."

He smiles gently, his eyes surprisingly soft, but his voice comes out sounding dead serious as he leans back and looks me dead in the eye. "I understood, back then, that my obsession over you paired with the kindness you showed me had blossomed into love. I realized that I love you, Aang. And it's been killing me to hold that information in for so long, to the point where the pain was beginning to depress me, and make me more irritable than usual. But when you magically showed up at my bedroom door a few days ago… I felt lie myself again."

He scoffs at himself, a snort grunt forming on his lips as he shakes his head at his own pathetic feelings.

…At least what_ he_ thinks is pathetic.

"So, now you know." He sighs regretfully. "I just hope that I didn't just royally fuck things up, no pun intended."

I'm in such mind-numbing awe that I almost don't catch the pun, a play on words of his political position. Royal. Ha, that's a good one. So good that my nerves explode and I start to giggle, my laughter flimsy and alien-sounding. Zuko frowns at me, thinking that I'm laughing at him.

I clamp my hand over my mouth, swiftly silenced. I shake my head as my hand drops. "I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, Zuko. I'm just…" I take a shallow breath as I search for a semi-proper term to use. "Uneasy. I'm uneasy, because at this very second, I'm resisting the urge to… do something incredibly foolish." I use the same phrase I had last night, knowing that, having eavesdropped, he'll understand. I glance up at him briefly, wondering what he'll do, since I'm too timid to do much of anything. It's all so crazy and peculiar, him loving me.

…And me loving him back.

Extremely crazy and peculiar, since I know that I should want to repopulate the airbending race, but how can I? In order to do so, my family would have to commit incest in order to continue carrying the gene, because bending is a very difficult gene to pass on. Katara and Sokka are proof of that: one can bend, the other cannot.

But I can't help it that I feel this way. So screw it, I won't bother trying to do any more worldly justice, any more Earthly favors. I knew the second I discovered that I was the last airbender that the art would die with me, save for the next Avatar, whom will have to learn airbending from another source. Therefore, I'm going to be selfish for the second time in my life. I'm going to be selfish, because I want Zuko. I want him so badly that I'm a little disgusted with myself for being so needy and dependent on another person, someone of the same gender or not.

Snapped out of my thoughts by a vague touch, I awaken my senses with a handful of eye-clearing blinks to find Zuko leaning over me, his mouth by my ear. "Then do you mind if I do something incredibly foolish instead?"

I smile despite myself. I close my eyes soon afterwards. "I don't mind at all," I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper.

I'm not surprised by the aggressive kiss that takes over my entire mouth. I'm not accustomed to the way he greedily eats my lips, sucking as nibbling the second he got a response from the moving of my own kiss back to him. But just because I'm not surprised or not accustomed doesn't mean I can believe this is happening or that I don't like it. In truth, this experience is new and unbelievable to me, but wonderful all the same.

Zuko presses his lips harder, his tongue searching for an entrance. I give him one, my lips and teeth parting. I've never tongue-kissed before; I hadn't wanted to when I was with Katara. It hadn't felt right. But here and now, it feels right. Wet and slippery and warm, like our tongues can't seem to grasp one another, but keep trying nevertheless.

I bring a hand up to the back of my – friend's? boyfriend's? – head and ties my fingers up in his wet hair to anchor myself against the onslaught of kisses being placed so passionately and tenderly upon my lips. The moisture in the air I try to breathe when we part for a moment brings me back into reality, reminding me of where I am, and how scantily clothed we both are. I feel myself shiver again, tingles running down my spine.

Zuko's hand had fallen to my back somewhere in our clash of mouths, and I find myself drawn to the feeling of his fingers grazing over the scarred tissue in the center. I copy him by letting my hand at the back of his head drift around to his own scar, my thumb brushing the bottom of it where it covers his cheekbone.

We stare at one another for a moment, and I can ell by the way he's looking at me that he's thinking the same thing I am: we're both marked. Me for being the Avatar, always wanted dead; and since I had been in the Avatar State at the time, it's a wonder the Avatar continues to exist. And him for being a rebellious prince, always looked down upon by his father; and considering the merciless hunt he was sent on, it's a wonder he didn't end up going insane like his sister.

Zuko's hand slips slightly because of the water on my skin, and the purposely slides around the front of my body as he leans in for another kiss, this kiss being slower than the last. He thumb grazes over my nipple, causing me to jerk forward. He seems to catch me, awaiting this reaction, and hold me there for a second, my hand long since fallen from his face and simply holding onto his shoulder.

The steam from the heated water begins to make me dizzy. It doesn't help that the temperature in here is increasing, and whether that's due to Zuko's firebending, possibly my own unconscious firebending, or the natural state of things, I do not know. But then again, I find myself caring less and less about anything except Zuko with each passing moment. Who knew that I could feel this way, that I could feel this secure and elated?

Problem is, the Fire Lord feels how I sway and cling to him, knowing that the heat is getting to my head. "We should go to my chambers," he says with heavy concern lacing his words, but there is also the backdrop of lust mingled in.

I feel a little too vulnerable at the moment, and overly agreeable. If I'm not careful, I might lose myself. But this thought is fleeting, and I find myself humming my consent. "Mm-hmm. Let's go."

Zuko seems satisfied with my answer, and helps me out of the burning water, which feels too hot all of a sudden, and my legs too wobbly. I stumble out of the pool, my brain reminding me not to glance over at Zuko, especially not downwards. I obey, because I have to preserve at least some of his Highness's modesty.

We quickly dress in the delicate cotton robes provided in the royal bathhouse, their fuzzy, cleansing texture and the cool air of the outside refreshing me. Zuko grips my hand, his expression composed, but his eyes teeming with happiness. And I take pride in that happiness, because I know that I'm the sole person who put it there.

Zuko and I coincidentally pass Lady Ursa on our path towards Zuko's room, and she suddenly understands everything, and she winks at me, as if to say, 'Well done, Aang; I know you could do it.' And then she bows respectfully, but the way she glances at me with a small, loving smile, tells me, 'Thank you for helping my baby boy.'

When we approach his room, the implications of the place and Zuko's tightening grip of anticipation suddenly hit me with clarity. I hesitate a moment – only a moment – before walking inside after the one I love and longed for. But _because_ I love him and have needed him all this time is the reason why I'm not afraid.

The door is locked, an automatic 'don't come near me, I don't need you' message to the servants and whoever else.

I feel fuzzyheaded in that mystically comfortable way as Zuko immediately locks his lips back onto mine. I fall backwards onto his bed with him hovering over me, pulling down the cotton robe and planting kisses where he sees fit. It's still strange, being like this; I never expected to be with another man, or anyone in general so soon, but I am not at all complaining.

A moan falls from my mouth, surprising me. I hadn't even known I was going to make a sound, let alone that I could sound like that! I flush a bit, but don't have much time to recover from my embarrassment because Zuko is suddenly eager to elicit another sound from me; I can tell by the renewed fervor in his actions. He runs his hands down my sides, pushing away my robe completely. And his mouth – his mouth will surely drive me insane, because as it explores my neck and collarbone and chest, I ant help but make another noise by mistake.

The firebender pauses a moment, as if debating something with himself. But I don't appreciate the lack of movement, so I take this opportunity to grab his shoulders and roll over, succeeding in switching our previous position. "Something wrong?" I ask, my voice sounding odd to me; it's low and daresay seductive, and I don't know where it's coming from. I guess Zuko brings out the worst in me. But it's kind of funny, since I tend to bring out the best in him in return.

He shakes his head, his face flushed. So he really had been blushing before, hadn't he? I could giggle right now, knowing that I'm probably one of the few people who can make the great Fire Lord Zuko blush. I restrain myself, however; I don't want him misunderstanding, thinking that I'm laughing at him again.

"Well, I thought there was," I inform him. "Know why? – Because I don't like being captured so easily. You of all people should know that." And I smile down at him and catch the sound of a light chuckling response. Then I return the favor of being smothered in kisses, the irresistible connection of soft lips and wet tongue and nipping teeth with pale skin.

A sigh escapes the older boy beneath me; something that sounds like it is on the brink of being a moan with how content and gruff it sounds. I use this to my advantage. I shimmy a ways down his body, making him tremble, before laying a wet, half-suckling kiss on his abdominals. I try not to think too long or too heavily about what it is I'm doing; for once in my life, I forcefully rid my head of riddling, trivial airbender thoughts about logic and reason, and instead allow my rarely-used hormones to take over. I can almost feel the blood rushing through my veins, excited at the idea.

My nimble fingers massage along Zuko's hips, and he jerks in response, my name a whisper caught in his throat. I can see his arousal through the undergarments he put on, the sole thing either of us are wearing besides this pesky cotton cover-up. I lean upwards, my eyes asking him permission as my fingers dig into the blanket on his bed.

Zuko doesn't hesitate this time, because since I'm the one actively initializing each further step, he doesn't feel like he's taking advantage of me. I know that this is what he had paused and debated over. I am only fifteen, after all; there is a good four-year difference between us, and unlike others of our time, Zuko strongly feels these years like a rift. So I eased the tension for him, playing as though I were joking.

I think he understands. So he nods, and I peck a kiss on his cheek to distract him while I remove his last piece of clothing in one swoop of airbending. He shivers. "Oops," I murmur apologetically, "Guess I forgot how breezy that must feel."

He glares up at me. I bite away a smirk as I learn down to nuzzle his neck while a free hand of mine drifts down to feel rather than see him. I would probably turn a tomato red if I saw, so I opt to feel my way around instead. Zuko's eyelids flutter when my hand reaches its destination, and a loud moan escapes from him. He automatically arches into me as I move my hand lower, my lips brushing the pulsing artery in his throat. I can feel his heart-rate speed up when I trail my fingers along his member. He moans again, but he turns his head to muffle the sound. Poor Zuko, who knows if he's ever done anything like this with another person. The Heavens know that I haven't. You would think with his status and age that he would get any girl (or guy, I guess?) to do this for him, but maybe not. Zuko is a man of honor, and maybe because of that, he wanted to wait for somebody special.

I soften from he inside out. 'Somebody special' to him, I realize, means me. Always me.

I kiss a line up to Zuko's jaw as I start to pump him with my hand. I've only recently lost my innocence enough to touch myself and know what feels good and what doesn't. I try to reenact my best experiences on him. I twirl my thumb in a haphazard pattern downward, and then jerk quickly upwards, nearly pinching the head. Zuko whines, very close to my ear, and I feel a little guilty. Maybe he doesn't like it fast. So I slow my hand down, and don't grip as tight. But then he whimpers softly, barely audibly, and I realize that he must miss the unpredictability. So I'm back to the random, quick movement, and pretty soon, I have him panting, his eyes closed above me. He's close.

…And he looks amazing when he orgasms.

I still grimace at the feeling of sticky fluid on my hand, like I tend to when I'm by myself. I wipe it off on my discarded robe, swearing silently to burn it later. Discovered evidence never fails to be too humiliating to bear.

Zuko tries to catch his breath as I lean off to the side to watch him. I chance looking downward for a second, and am impressed to find my lover still hard. I hide a laugh behind my free hand as I lay on my side, my elbow and hand propping up my head to get a clear view of Zuko's face.

He opens his clouded gold eyes, and after a second, links them with mine. There is such love in those eyes, even past all of the lust. It makes my breath hitch for a second, because I wonder if I deserve that kind of love, despite the good I've done. But I'm sure Zuko is wondering the same thing about me at this very moment, wondering how _we_, as an essence, came to be, and if he deserves it after all the wrongs he's committed in his past.

I don't stiffen in shock as he pushes me over, successfully pinning me to the bed. He looks down at me as if I were a mirage again, like he had when I first arrived. I lift my brows in concern. I touch his face, the unblemished side. "I'm not going to up and disappear, Zuko," I remind him. "Just because I'm born as the wind doesn't make me just as fleeting."

I feel so secure here, below him. As mush as I wouldn't like to admit it, I do. And, I think, he feels safe with me as well. Zuko smiles, although a tad sadly. "I know you're not going to disappear," he murmurs, "But I just don't want you to leave, ever. Can't you stay here in the Fire Nation, Aang? So that we can be like this all the time? – If you miss the others, they can visit. And… and if the people don't approve, then fuck them. I don't want anybody's approval anymore except for yours, my mother's, and my uncle's. Your three opinions of me are the only ones I need to keep myself in check."

I grin brightly. "I'm glad to hear that. And don't worry, I wasn't planning on leaving the Fire Nation. There isn't much else out there for me besides what's here. You're right; our friends can visit if they want to. But they all separated to be with the ones they love, so why can't I?"

"That is my point exactly," Zuko smirks, and he doesn't say another word more. He proceeds to remove my underwear, and as the heated air ghosts over my exposed self, I start to feel self-conscious.

But my lover isn't one to mock or tease. I know by the look in his eyes that he treasures me no matter what, and that sentiment alone is enough to make he feel completely comfortable again.

Zuko's dry palm smoothes over the skin of my thigh, his thumb tickling the inner side as he spreads my legs. I suck in a shaky breath, because I don't know what he's going to do. I know that no matter what he wouldn't do anything to make me distrust him, but I'm nervous all the same.

"It's alright," he whispers softly, his eyes glancing up at my face for a moment. "I know what I'm doing."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I joke. "You plan on turning me into Aang Pudding, don't you?"

He doesn't respond, but the amused look on his face tells me all. He bends down. And then…

And then, faster than I can process in my state of mind, Zuko engulfs the tip of my length, and I temporarily lose my mind as his tongue swirls and travels all the way down the shaft, mapping it out. I barely contain my surprised squeak, but I can't help the gasp and low, drawn-out moan that come out.

But something isn't right. Something… And then I feel it: a little tickle, and then a prodding sensation just below the swarm of pleasure. _His fingers,_ I realize. _Zuko is preparing me._

I don't mean to, but I tense up from this revelation. But Zuko is a master at distractions, and firebending. He nearly brings me to a climax with whatever he does with his mouth on me next – I can't see it, my eyes are closed, but I can sure as hell feel what it does to me – and simultaneously he heats his finger to relax my muscles, and then I'm melting; melting into Aang Pudding.

I'm vaguely aware around my climax of the second and third fingers, and the addition of lotion he somehow reached when he leaned up to kiss me on the mouth. I get a brief taste of myself, and it is far from pleasant. But the manner of which Zuko begins to thrust his fingers in and out of my entrance is enough to make me forget instantly.

I make an indescribable noise, and then plea for more without knowing what I'm saying until I say it. I'm a little disgusted wit myself once again, if only because of how greedy I sound. I get my wish, however; I get more. Much, much more.

My eyes fly open as something thicker than a couple fingers enters me. Except I don't feel much pain, and zero violation. Instead, I feel sweltering heat from the inside out, and completion. I never knew how much I've wanted – _needed_ – Zuko inside of me until this very second.

My hands search for him, and he bends down to hold me as he sheaths himself to the hilt. I cling to him, my legs hugging his pelvis. Involuntarily, I arch my back and grind my hips, back and forth. Acting purely on instinct, Zuko follows my movements until I give up and let him take over. He thrusts just as powerfully as he bends and tames fire; and this moment couldn't be any closer to bliss if it tried.

We ride out our second comings, mine late because I only got friction, and his early because he's never done this before. He pulls out and leans back a moment to give me time to adjust. I can hear his labored breathing, and through the vibrations in the bed, I can feel every quiver running down his body.

When I can sit up again, I slink back and pull Zuko with me to the top of the bed so that we can get under the covers and rest. We might be benders, but we're not superhuman (even the Avatar is susceptible to exhaustion). We need some sleep, now. I feel like my limbs have been reduced to some wobbly mass, and my skin is slick with sweat. This doesn't make for very restful sleep, but damn it if I need it anyway.

I flop myself onto Zuko's side. He turns to cradle me to his chest instead, a small kiss being planted on my forehead, right around where my arrow should be. "Thank you for this," he breathes out, his tone deep and low.

I don't know why he's thanking me. I love him, don't I? And I enjoyed it just as much as he did. So why thank me? Unless he doesn't mean the lovemaking, but for listening to his problems, and accepting his love, and cheering him up. And for those things, I reply with a heartfelt and yet still teasing, "You're welcome."

[Fin.]


End file.
